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Shakεy
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ClintonPortisheadFiled under: Shakey | Tags: Kevin Kolb, Kevin Kolb frustrated, butt tampons, robot spider monsters, Prom, vampire zombie hybrid, Mewtwo, Donovan McNabb contract extension
Today Eagles backup Quarterback Kevin Kolb said he’d be ‘frustrated’ if Donovan McNabb received a contract extension. Unfortunately for Kolb, journalists didn’t give enough of a shit about him to print the rest of his words. But you know what Kevin? I’m here for you. I’ll tell the world how you really feel.
Kevin Kolb would also be frustrated if… (more…)
Filed under: Shakey | Tags: Mark Madsen, Mark Madsen has no friends, Maddog Madsen, Dairy Queen with Shaq, Shrek, Daughter Lindsay, C-List douche, Jimmy Fallon
Thirty three year old NBA journeyman Power Forward Mark Madsen would love to share his thoughts via the newfangled social networking device Twitter. Unfortunately for the 6’9″ big man out of Stanford University, nobody wants to follow him. ‘MaddogMadsen‘ is twittering into a vacuum of despair. (more…)
Filed under: Shakey | Tags: Brian Scalabrine, Scal, Scalabrine Christmas Wishlist, Mail bin, Sanna, Fruibles the Elf, Cat Scratch Fever, Wang Dang Sweet Poontang wedding song, Marissa Miller, Hot babes, hubbub, Quiznos fine dining, Charizard helping with oven, Trekkie, Geordi Laforge VISOR, weird black guy star trek eye thing
Last December I ran into the old lunk on the streets of Philadelphia as he was trying to locate a mail box for a letter addressed to the North Pole. The confused fella was late for shootaround so he asked me to deposit the letter in the nearest mail bin I could find. I kept the letter. Today, I share Brian Scalabine’s Christmas Wishlist with you.
Hey Santa!
Hope the Elves aren’t driving you crazy like last year when you hit little Fruibles with a frying pan. Has Prancer’s pancreatic cancer improved? Maybe you can send a letter to Jesus so it can be all better. I know you get lots of these things and I don’t want to tire your eyes out and make you get new prescriptions for your half moon lenses. It must take hours to drive to the nearest Lenscrafters eye glass store!
Filed under: Shakey | Tags: How it Happened, Milton Bradley, Shamu, Dead Shamu, Crazed Souls, devour sea lions and walrus, murderize, waste of nature, all growd up, Shakey, Style Points, Club that whale
Insane Major League Baseball Player Milton Bradley was once a child like you and me. We at Style Points have decided it is our duty to uncover seminal moments in intriguing athletes’ life and share them with the world. This here is the tale of a young Milton Bradley. *Everything in this post should be regarded as factual and by no means should be taken as fiction.
Filed under: Shakey | Tags: Tiger Woods, How it Happened, Zoltorg, Fukok, improbable racial combination, ball in hole, Tiger Woods abducted by aliens, robot Tiger Woods, Eldrick, Shittiest band in the world
Everyone knows Tiger Woods is the best golfer in the universe. But no one ever asks why? His black-thai blood is the most improbable racial combination to ever hit the world of golf. So I’m here to uncover the real reason Tiger has an otherworldly ability to hit a ball into a hole. You really think it was his dad’s tutorials? This post is based upon cold hard facts and should never ever be questioned under any circumstances. If you do, I’ll send my Mexican friend Zoltorg after you. (more…)
