Style Points

This is a popular video going around on the internet like some kind of digital AIDS. Well, except this video wasn’t specifically created to kill black people (we hope). As of yet, we have no further information as to the real identity of the driver, the circumstances surrounding the accident, or the driver’s thoughts or reasoning during the accident. We can only speculate, of course, wink wink… but it was obviously some combination of these:

Match the right sports celebrity to the right excuse and the right thought-process, and win a lapdance from ClintonPortishead!*

A.	1. Was really tired	i. “I guess I’ll just back up, and-”
B.	2. Is legally blind	ii. “In Russia, car drives into you!”
C.	3. Was late to get pedicure	iii. “I hate my stupid car.”
D.	4. Is Asian	IV. “I hate that stupid car. And that stupid pole. And that stupid curb. And that…”
E.	5. Was drunk	V. “I’ve driven better things than this into utter ruin!”
F.	6. Was bored	VI. “Honey, do you hear that? Like, some kind… some kind of clunking? No, listen, there it is… no?”

*lap not included