Friday Night Quickies: Bills RB Charged With Public Wanking
McIntyre (wardrobe by Ed Hardy)
Bills running back Corey McIntyre allegedly took excessive measures to practice his no-huddle offense. The journeyman back faces a misdemeanor exposure of sexual organs charge after a 59-year old woman told police that she heard a knock at her window, then witnessed McIntyre masturbating outside. There has been no report as to what he used to knock on the window.
McIntyre denied the charges, described his activities as his usual bicycle routine, and says he did not actually run the waggle in front of the woman. His agent has released a statement:
Corey McIntyre is one of the highest character people around and the last guy who would do what he’s been accused of. We look forward to proving that these embarrassing accusations are completely false and that Corey is guilty of absolutely nothing.
Although McIntyre is a former Saint, at this time there seems to be no connection between this incident and the similar charges recently brought against current Saints players Biren Ealy and Kolomona Kapanui. There also appears to be no truth to rumors that McIntyre was practicing the naked bootleg in anticipation of a position switch to quarterback.
We’ll update this story as further details and dick jokes become available.
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So, how many people figured the first Bills player to be caught wanking in public would be TO?
Of course a guy wearing an Ed Hardy shirt would have been convicted of something like this.
So what? Heath Shuler did this on the field for four seasons and now he’s a Congressman.
Hahahah! Really is that hard for footballers?
To be fair, he’s only been charged. There’s still a chance that a random 59 year-old woman made up a story about an NFL running back jerking it in front of her. Innocent until proven guilty.