Saberhagendaaz
Shakεy
Business_Socks
ClintonPortisheadFiled under: Business_Socks | Tags: Burt fuckin' Reynolds, career counseling, Chelsea Handler, Dom Deluise, Dunkin Donuts, Homeland Security, Now That's a Spicy Meatball, Stan Van Gundy, Super Mario, the Undertaker, Weekly Power Poll
We here at Style Points perform many duties. At different points in our career we’ve been called a clubhouse cancer, clubhouse lawyer (redundant), class clown, hall monitor, first base coach and occasionally, head hunter. So today we put on our career counselor cap (it’s bedazzled) and try to fit soon- to-be-unemployed Stan Van Gundy with a new career.
10. Donut Maker – We hate to typecast someone but he looks the part. He also looks the part of a cretinous porn star but, you knew that already.
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Filed under: Saberhagendaaz | Tags: Al Davis, Blood Types, Hearse, Prius, Spanish Inquisition, Filipinos, Tim Brown, Tony Gonzales, Chinamen
Recently, Tim Brown suggested that Al Davis doesn’t like black people. It was just like when Kanye West said the same thing about George Bush, except that in this case it’s not true. To make sure no further mistakes like this happen, Style Points sent Mr. Davis a questionnaire about his likes and dislikes. Here are his answers:
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Filed under: Business_Socks | Tags: Ask an Old Redneck, Braylon Edwards, Brett Favre, Festus T. Bogwater
Festus T. Bogwater
Filed under: Contributors, Karlifornia | Tags: Alexxxa, Athlete Phone Sex Transcripts, Cornelius Bagley the Third, Gorgeous Birds, Karlifornia, Ron Artest, Simplex X
Deadspin commenter Karlifornia has agreed to become a contributor for this fine site. Here’s his first foray into Style Points literature.
Cheerio, everyone. My name is Cornelius Bagley the Third. Let me indulge all of you with the fanciful tale of “CB-3″. I had a privileged childhood, culminating with a legacy entrance into Oxford University. I earned my degree in 4 months, the result of superior secondary schooling. I immigrated to America 22 years ago to work as a stockbroker. Possessing a vast knowledge of the inner workings of international finance, I quickly ascended the Wall Street ladder. I unfortunately could not overcome my addiction to what the proletariat refers to as “the common street whore”. I contracted a rare strain of herpes known only as “Simplex X”. It left me with ghastly sores all over my body and face. I was subsequently blackballed from Wall Street, and forced to find a lesser occupation.
That occupation I found was managing a phone sex company. I will now share with you the transcript of a call from a professional athlete by the name of Ron Artest. The thespian is a gorgeous bird that goes by the nom de phone sex of “Alexxxa”. (more…)
