Cleveland head coach Eric Mangini has steadfastly refused to name a starter for next Monday night’s showdown with the Baltimore Ravens. Mangini insists doing so puts the Browns at a competitive disadvantage. Not knowing whether there’s any validity to his claims we spun the Rolodex around and quizzed a few league insiders. Their thoughts regarding Mangini’s secretive tactics are after the jump.
Chuck's mother: finally useful!
It was one of those Monday nighters that started off exciting then slowly disintegrated into a yawnfest by the fourth quarter. Kind of like an evening feast with a bunch of cannibals. Let’s get to the links.
An eye opening interview with Tracy Morgan. At least I assume it’s eye opening. He’s not making any jokes, which means I ain’t listening. [NPR]
Steve Yzerman was inducted to the hall of fame. I would also like to personally induct him into the hall of fame for people who don’t understand how to properly use vowels to separate consonants. [Detroit4Lyf]
Style Points hereby challenges this fogey to a game of pickup basketball. He can bring his retirement home friends. We only challenge people we have a legitimate shot at beating, and this may be our only opportunity, ever. I hope I get the guy with the respirator. [SOB]
Sammy Sosa is fixin’ for a role in that Twilight movie. [SI]
Do with this as you see fit, Style Points readers.
We here at Style Points are huge fans of football, and especially Monday Night Football. We have always been intrigued by the announcers’ meetings with players and coaches on Friday before the games; we wanted in on that. Luckily, Mike Tirico owed our own Chris Hanson’s Axe a solid after he helped Mike pick out a tie at the JCPenney he works at, so now we’re going to do our own interview with the MNF guys every Friday. Here’s a preview of what you will hear during tonight’s game:
That’s right, we’re rolling throwback style here at the Reckoning this week. So properly attire yourself. Break out your Zubaz. Slap on your Starter jacket. Give your Reebok Pumps a squeeze or two and let’s hit the ground running. It’s time for the Week 9 Reckoning!
Rick Barry making watermelon jokes at Bill Russell’s expense. Goes about as well as you’d imagine.
Links
More fun with the catty BYU-New Mexico women’s soccer match. [Sportress of Blogitude]
Matt Cassel has figured how to prevent concussions. [2nd String Fullback]
Shaq getting spanked. [Stacheketball]
Joey Porter sounding off on Tom Brady. [With Leather]
You kidding? Of course Spud knows a monkey hitman! [Food Court Lunch]
We have incorporated some new blood in an effort to bring you, the Style Points reader, an increasingly varied and cultured survey of all things high and low brow. We’ve secured the services of two of the most dynamic athletes on the planet. Their objective is to give the readers of Style Points informative reviews of the latest fare at your local cineplex. Our latest contributors come from very different backgrounds. Pau Gasol, starting center for the LA Lakers, was born and raised in Barcelona, Spain. Hopefully, he can bring an enlightened, European bent to film criticism. The other hails from the mean streets of Queens, New York. When selling us on the idea of him reviewing movies, he said “I’m more of a documentary fan. You ever seen Armageddon?” Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only, Ron Artest.
Mozart should have a cane with this guy's head on top.
Role model.
Dick towels! Get your dick towels here! [Dicktowel.com]
Tony Romo would appreciate it if Roy Williams would not divide the team, as he is saving that duty for himself. [SOB]
Free style rapping by basketball coaches does not usually help a team very often. I’m looking at you, Jim Boeheim. [Bootlegger Sports]
There is a dancing man in Utah. If the Mormons are someday allowed to use violence he is soooo finished. [OTB]
The Phoenix Pub figured out how to use big font in a post. I am not that technologically advanced, as I have tried to do this many-a-time. Therefore, they win. [TPP]
Well it’s Last Call, and it’s time to finally get a roast going that will actually have the roast-ee paying attention to it. So who to choose? “Hey guys, let’s roast the newbie!” Ok, that’s fine, but I think that—“Oh, by the way, you have to make up the post yourself. Peace out.” I imagine this is what it would be like to plan your own funeral, or at least what it would be like to plan a wedding you are simultaneously planning to run away from. Which sounds AWESOME, now that I think about it. The funeral part, I mean; I want everything done in song, Broadway musical-style, so I can laugh at the 5 or 6 attendees from my place on high in Heaven and think “Nice dancing, fags.”
So fire away, and let’s give this douche the what-for!
Gregg Doyel, Is That You?
As most of you not currently incarcerated in Maximum Security Prison are probably unaware, Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) returns to primetime this Saturday night as someone named “Fedor” will revel in all his lowest common denominator glory on something called “StrikeForce.” To gain a better perspective on this curious spectacle and those who support it, Style Points has arranged for an interview with a guy who is way too into MMA to enlighten you all about the sport and its growing popularity.
SP: So, let’s get this started. As an MMA aficionado -
MMA Fan: Officially a what now?
SP: Oh, sorry. As an MMA enthusiast -
MMA Fan: Nah brah, I’m Catholic. (more…)
As connoisseurs of disingenuous sports patter, we’ve decided to head off the public relations firms and get to the athletes in question first to acquire their excuse laden mea culpas full of self serving rationalization and pettiness. Doing this week’s honor? All-World Florida Gators linebacker Brandon Spikes. This past Saturday, Brandon tried to pop the eyes out of a bitch to, presumably, piss in the bitch’s ocular cavities (RIP Phil Hartman). Well, he wants to say he’s sorry…sort of.
For the wake n bakers. Also for the Phillies fans. Grim Reaper Blues, indeed.
Links
Pedro Martinez is a Ghostbuster. [Sportress of Blogitude]
Chiefs fans are organizing against Larry Johnson. [2nd String Fullback]
Michael Strahan’s doors of perception need a locksmith. [Last Angry Fan]
How freestyle rap can sabotage a college basketball program. [Bootlegger Sports]
Stan Van Gundy in a diabetic coma…VIDEO! [NESW Sports]
This locker room signage suggests that Scott Pioli and Todd Haley read PassiveAggressiveNotes.com as a How-To Guide. What. The. Fuck? As Larry Johnson might say if he were more refined: this seems slightly effete, no?
At least they got one thing right: the word team should definitely be in quotes when describing the Chiefs. Don’t fret, Kansas City, only 5 months until baseball season. Fuck.
h/t BobbyBigWheel.
Philadelphia – In the month of October the National Football League helped to raise money and awareness in the fight against breast cancer, but they’re not done yet. On the heels of its wildly successful partnership with the American Cancer Society, the NFL and the NFL Players Association are teaming up to combat a new and growing foe that has affected many players and coaches in the NFL personally: football cancer.
(more…)
We at Style Points get athletes to open up to us every now and again. This is a new feature where an NFL athlete journals what he did during the week off from the rigors of his craft. Wes Welker was nice enough to volunteer. (more…)
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